I Believe I Owe You All An Apology

A day or two ago, I told everyone I would be leaving due to my mother sending me to a funny farm. While that was true, I was suddenly back the next day. My mother comes home everyday and she is usually really tired and seeing her house a mess makes her very upset. She's had to say to us more than 5 times to get the house clean. But I'm usually the only one doing it since I hate seeing her upset. My mom's gotten upset on more than one of these occassions and its taken a toll on her. Having to work 8 hours a day only to come home to lazy husband and kids along with a dirty house.

Also! My mother runs a snack bar out of our house. Weird, yes. But it helps give me a sense of what money is. Anyway! She had money saved up and put it in a jar. Though, my little brother Quez who is ADHD had no idea that the money belonged to her. He thought it was his, so! We thought he spent the money and my other two brothers David and John blamed it on him. My mother's anger ontop of the house being dirty boiled over and she whooped Quez. When I went to her room to apologize after she called me, thats when she let down the news that she was going to send us away.

Because of all these factors, I believe she tried to scare me and my younger brother David by threatening to send us to a funny farm. I tried to talk to her but she yelled at me and made me cry. Therefore, I believed she was totally serious and went to say good-bye to all my friends. But what confused me is how come I didn't go. The next day, she came to my room and talked me like any other day. She didn't seem mad at me but she was talking to my aunt on the phone saying she was upset with my stepfather and that I was a good kid.

So in all honesty, I'm pretty confused on what the hell her deal is. But I'm not goin there about my mama. Anyway! We figured out that it was actually my stepdad who spent the money and he let my little brother be blamed for everything. Though I am not happy with what he did, I'm also confused why my mother reacted the way she did only towards the two of us. I'm still not sure. But what I do know is that my mom cannot handle stress.

She currently has a heart condition that requires surgery, and the last time she told us she also had tumors in her brain. Overall, I feel bad because even though I suffer from schizophrenia and MPD I can't even imagine what she must feel like everyday of her life.

I'm sorry if I worried anyone, but thats my explanation on what happened and partly my thinking of why my mother would act that way.